The day before.

Today has been manic, I have taken a laxative today to flush out my system ready for my fast tomorrow! I have to remember tonight eat after 12, being new years eve Im nervous because I am going out with frends although Im hoping to play the ill card by 10pm to be home by 12 so not a drop of alochol or food passes my lips! Still panicing over my console! There is not a shop around that has it!:( I was quite looking forward to using it whilst I had nothing else to do in the nights, as my neighbourhood is not safe at all to go out into in when it is dark, (regardless of the time!)

2 Days to before the fast.

Ok today is a test for me I am cutting caffiene from my diet. I also am only on FRESH fruits and vegetables today, Im a little nervous of tomorrow being New Years Eve, I made plans to go out with s few of my girls tomorrow night and I want to cancle it .... but if I do that it might ruin their New Years Eve! I dont know what to do I was considering going with them and not drinking anything but orange juice but I cant ever go out and just stay on orange with them there the type of people who believe alcohol is the key to everyones problems, I think Ill just have to wait and see.

Im hoping to get a hold of some hoodia, since I am not fasting for detox Im doing it purely for weight loss I dont think it could do any harm. I already have this wonderful imiage in my head of me being so peuatiful surrounded by friends, and everyone liking me! ;)  so story book like haha!

its only just past half past one in the afternoon and I feel as dead as a door nail! No caffiene is hell for me I have paracetamol at hand reasy for the withdrawls of it haha!

prior to fast, 2 days to go!

Ive been doing a lot of research now on water fasting and am a little worried about the body  releasing toxins, I think I might have some form of OCD when it comes to body being clean, I am off out tomorrow to get as much shower gel as I can and also as much toothpaste and anti bactria mouth wash! Im guessing I will go through 1 family size tube of tooth paste a week, as i will brush them every 2 hours, I also intend to shower at least 3 times a day, more if I dont feel clean, I need shampoo too becuase I can have my hair greasy or dirty.

I also have written out a plan for my day and hopfully it will consist of 1 hour a day walking and 2 hours exercise, as well as stationary bike rides during TV hours, so hopefully I wont be sat still unless I am online which I plan to only be online for 3 hours in the evening as oppose to 10am till 11 pm. Hopfully I wont be on here 3 hours anyway, unless it is for research into Fasting!  Still avent got my games console! I have looked everywhere but no luck as of yet!

Prior to Fasting.

Ok, Today I decided to speculate some money on a games console in order to help me lose weight. So I spend all day traping round in the rain, only to find not 1 single store has them in stock. Im so stressed out now because I need it by the 1st of January inorder to really help. I got 2 blisters on 1 foot and 3 on the other from the wet shoes, so its going to be hell getting in my exercise now, but what ever it takes to make it!

I've got to start making a daily routine plan so that I can keep focused and not be tempted to eat.

I have decided I am going to donate all the food I have to a local food bank and at least then its not going to go to waste, and someone who deserves it can have it. Im going to get a taxi there tomorrow or the day after.

Prior to Fast.

Food is all going and bank card if out of the house! I have cut my meal down to 1 meal a day, although I doubt I will lose more than a pound or two before Saturday as I have twisted my ankle, so wont be getting the much needed excercise!

I also will have a list of rules I plan to follow. I have no intentions on breaking them.
1) No food at all
2) Do not go out with anyone who will want to eat/drink.
3) Only weigh myself ONCE per week.
4) Keep a personal and online account of my fast/ lifestyle
5) lose at least 40lb in 40 days.
6) Do at least 1 hours walking and another hour in other exercises.
7) Plan out the day at least 1 week before.
8) Add a new rule everyweek
9) Keep active
10) Research bulimics in the spot light.

I am absolutly terrified but also excited about my fast, I feel like a child waiting for her first performance infront of people! :D

Prior to fasting

Being bulimic isnt an easy thing to live with but when your an obese bulimic it make life a million times worse becuase people never see the efforts you go to to become thin!

I decided that as of the 1st of January I will be beging a 40 day water fast. I will be consuming nothing but water and intend to have nothing around not even money incase I decide to eat. This will not be my first fast, I have juice fasted before and lost over 20lb in 1 month, and I liked it!

However, after a bad year, I have gained over 80lb bringing my weight from an overweight 161lb to a disgusting 234lb.

I am in the process of writing out my rules, and day plan which I will stick to, no matter how I feel!